On To The Yard and Other Things

To finish off our redecorating and cleaning, I had a carpet company come in and clean the back bedroom carpets.  Nothing feels better than a totally clean house.  

We both had eye doctor appointments to keep.  We were late getting this done with all the other medical things we had to tend to.  No problems there!

Junior Forum had their Installation of New Officers Luncheon on Thursday.  I picked up Pat and Cathy on my way and we got the last table that quickly filled in.  This is always a good time and 2022 was no exception.  

And I had lunch with friend Teri on Friday.  When we were playing cards the week before she complained of a cactus thorn she had gotten in her leg.  She was going to go to the doctor because she could not get it out.  I went home and got what we call “drawing salve” and in two days it had been drawn out.  She was so pleased.  We decided to meet for lunch so she could return the salve to me.  All these lunches out makes dinner a toss up.  Usually I am not hungry and Ted just makes do with a salad, leftovers or something as simple as grilled cheese.

They worked on our yard and I have enough rocks to build Fort Knox.  These patio zero lot line homes sit so close together that optimum grading is hard to achieve.  Our metal edging was rusting after 20 years and they used stones to build a new border.  That was really labor intensive.  The creek bed was established at the bottom of the downspout.  Some new sod was put down where needed, the sprinkler heads still need to be worked on in Zone 2 and the rain sensor replaced.  Taking down the magnolia trees opened up the front yard a lot.  Hopefully some more sun will encourage plant growth in the planted bed. It rained really hard the night they had most everything done but a bit of sod to lay so we did not have to do anything that evening to the yard.  It looked all fresh and new in the morning.  

We went to church Saturday, brought Communion to our neighbors and went out to eat.  We used to play cards or meet up with groups on Saturday nights but so much that got shut down has not restarted.  And now it is Monkey Pox we are to fear.  I have a problem with politicians sounding the pandemic alarm when hundreds of thousands people are walking into our country and only the Lord knows what they are carrying because no routine testing goes on.  Bus ride to processing center, bus ticket to wherever.  Asylum court date set for 6 years out.  It used to be only two before this “invasion” started!  

We had a small concern since last Saturday.  I had taken a routine Cologuard test and received results that were Positive. I had received a card from Cologuard saying my 3 years was up so I took it to Dr. C during my regular appt. and he ordered it.  I had to wait until Monday to call our gastro’s office who offered me a PA appointment today (Monday) or see the doctor in June!  That didn’t work for me so I called my breast oncologist at M D Anderson.  In no time I had an appointment for a colonoscopy today (Monday) with one of their gastro oncologists.  They had my prep ready at the drug store immediately. I am happy to report all is good!  Nothing to be concerned about. 

So I will get in high gear to get ready to leave next Monday.  I really, really, really didn’t want to delay or cancel our summer plans so I have lots to be thankful for.  Give Praise to Our Lord!  

Congratulations to all the graduates from Kindergarten to Master Degrees!  

  

Feeling Accomplished!

Getting the floor redone with all the moving of things and cleaning involved followed by the same thing in the bedroom to have it repainted was a big job I had dreaded undertaking.  But it sure was worth it.  I am so pleased with the end result.  The picture above our bed just isn’t hacking it with the new, lighter color scheme so I have ordered a new one.  I sure hope it arrives before we leave.

Next up is work in our yard.  Two trees are to be removed.  Decorative wall reset from tree roots pushing on it, stone border to replace rusted metal edging, new rain sensor and sprinkler system checked out.  We have some heads now watering stones and grass not getting any water.  And I added some sod at their expense because gas or weed killer was spilled on a whole strip of grass!  When we had a new roof put on, they also added a gutter and down spout to the side of our house where the new deck is.  A heavy rain causes a deluge of water on a swath of grass that has since died from too much water and moss is growing in its place. So a bull rock creek bed will be installed to channel the water to the back fence.  It is a utility easement right behind us so the excess water will not harm anyone’s yard.  We still have some dead, tall bushes in the back corners from the Big Freeze.  We thought they would come back but some did, some didn’t.  He will clean the dead stuff out and when we return in the fall that back fence will be replaced and the corners replanted.  And I thought yards in Florida were expensive to keep up!  I guess this is what happens when you live in a house for 19+ years; our longest until this house was 8 years in our first Michigan house.  

With all of that under control I took time to join a half dozen neighborhood ladies for our monthly luncheon and the next day joined the Junior Forum Sustainers in Old Towne Spring at an historic restaurant that had a recent fire and just reopened, bigger and better.  A group of ladies can get very loud!

I have only one personal photo to share but have a few from family that I thought were especially good.  

Nephew Tim made this table and benches from a tree that was struck by lightning on his Indiana property. This is their Elk Lake KY home where this huge room was just added across the back.  The opposite end is a TV area.  Their whole family, 8 adults and 8 grandkids take up more room than the area still in use in the original house can accommodate.  We always spend time at the lake when we visit Cincinnati.  

This is cousin David’s son and daughter in law at the Derby.  WOW! on their outfits. 

Time is drawing close for our summer sojourn.  We have adjusted our route to add Cincinnati first as a stop for a funeral for Ted’s cousin who died recently.  Cousin Fr. Terry will come in from Chicago to say the funeral Mass.  We will then go to Shipshewana to get our chairs and from there go to Michigan in time for Morgan’s commencement.  We will return to Cincinnati to spend two weeks at the end of July.

Morgan has done so well in high school.  She was inducted into the National Honor Society, and is graduating Summa Cum Laude.  She earned the Talented Scholar Award scholarship and a Legacy Scholarship.  She will attend Oakland University in Rochester, MI.  She is our youngest granddaughter.  It was 15 years until CeCe was born as our first granddaughter. 

And It Is Summer

The old thermometer, that has been in the 80s of late, is destined to hit 90 this week.  And it is only the first week of May!

Friday I spent time getting my scripts to Walgreen’s from Walmart.  I watched Dr. C say “ok, I changed your preferred pharmacy” and yet, they went back to Walmart.  My insurance has changed to Walgreen’s as preferred, instead of Walmart which we have had for years because of traveling.  There was always a Walmart.  

So I picked up my first 3 months but it had no refill.  So I stopped at Dr. C’s office right before closing and the girl sent the script again after changing whatever so it went to Walgreen’s. But now I had two 3 month prescriptions with no refills.  Insurance will only allow one to be filled.  So I have to just hope that in July, while we are gone, that the second script is still sitting there so I can go to a Walgreen’s in Indiana for my refill.  What bother!

I spent so much time trying to get that all fixed I skipped the nail salon and went home and made a pizza for dinner for Ted who had worked all afternoon at the gun club.

So Saturday I went to the nail salon and stopped at H‑E‑B to get things to make meatloaves.  I wanted to take one to my friend Gerre still recovering from back surgery, along with a container of chicken and sausage gumbo I made.  I also bought an orchid plant to test her green thumb.  She has so many plants and a beautiful yard I thought maybe this would be a bit of a challenge.  Turns out she had two growing on their sun porch and doing fine!  We visited about three hours on Sunday.

We went to church as usual on Saturday, took Communion to our neighbors and ate at Black Bear Diner.  And we played cards at the country club on Tuesday.  Ted won, I didn’t.  

I have been trying to get things done before we leave. We lost all of JFM and part of April until my breast cancer situation was handled.  All the doctor appointments, tests and two surgeries took up a lot of time.  Praise God we can move on with great confidence.

The AC people came for our annual check up and all is OK.  I have contracted with our landscaper to fix some things in the yard.  Our stone wall has a section being pushed up by live oak roots and he will have the root removed and wall repaired.  The metal edging of the paver brick walk has rusted out and that will be replaced with a stone edge, the two magnolias that have been fighting with the two live oaks for 20 years are going away, and my rain sensor is broken.  The ajuga and hostas are doing great and perhaps the magnolias being taken out will get a bit of sunshine to them to help them along even more.  My last project was to get the bedroom painted.  The old paint was too dark and with my new bedspread it looked even darker.  I thought perhaps the carpeting would need to be replaced.  But once the new light color, Navajo White went on, the rug blended nicely. 

All of this tearing down, work, cleaning and putting it all back together took its toll and caught up with me.  I went to bed at 7 pm one night and slept until 6 am!  I don’t believe I have ever slept that long.  Fatigue is a side effect of my Arimidex and I chalk it up to that.  

Just so you do not think I had all work and no play, I put together a yogurt bar to make your own yogurt dish for our Newcomers Continental breakfast.  What a gorgeous house and yard where it was held.  And we attended a Newcomers outing to the Sam Houston Raceway.  We cashed 3 tickets, not big, but it kept our losses down to a minimum.

We went to church as usual, a little concerned about protestors but all was calm.  I did notice a lot more men, in blue jeans and boots, being ushers and staying by the doors.  I am sure there were quiet precautions going on in the background to avoid any trouble.  My heart aches for what has happened to our country.  We took Communion to Jeanette and Dick then went to Joe’s Italian since we had not been there in awhile.  

New Floor

We got all tucked away on Monday and it always amazes me how much stuff you need to bring for only four days!  We needed food, clothes and toiletries.  When we leave for several months it will be the same but we will use it all a lot before we come back home.  

HitchHiker friends were camping just north of us (as seen on FB) so I invited them for dinner.  It has been a few years since we joined the HitchHiker rally in Ingram, TX and saw them.  Susan is fourth from the left.  We had a good visit and we wished them safe travels as they headed to Tyler, TX the next day.

I have been talking about replacing our wood floors after 19 years.  Overall they look fine but I am aware of every nick and bang if one would inspect closely.  Also, I wanted a darker wood and wider planks this time.  Vivienne showed me the work she had done so I called the company.  They came out Thursday, I chose the flooring and they started the next day!  Here is the darker, wider wood I chose (laying the wrong way so color shows better.  It will run the same way our lighter wood was laid).  I needed it to blend with the cabinets because I don’t want to change them at this time.  I don’t want white, gray or dark so I will stay with the status quo.

And what a mess!  I avoided refinishing because they said it was so messy but I don’t think it could have been any worse than getting this old stuff up!  

That took all day Friday to remove the old floor, sanding and floating on Saturday, actual installation Sunday.  We were planning to celebrate our 57th wedding anniversary on Saturday with dinner at Perry’s and would go to church Sunday morning so Ted could shoot in a charity event (with my blessings).  Since they were keeping us locked in and out of our bedroom in back, or the office in front, we cancelled the reservation and moved to Plan B.  We used our bedroom time to shower and dress, they left in time for us to get to church, took Communion to our neighbors and I chose Golden Corral for dinner (I wanted fried chicken) and it tasted good.  We decided not to move our reservation to Sunday because of not knowing anyone’s timing,  The work got finished and Ted eventually came home from his event.  Two shooters shot 77, he shot 76.  That put him third and he got nothing!  The $800 entry fee had been paid by a patron so nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

Our finished family room.  The coffee table is new.  There is a matching side table by Ted’s double  lounger (opposite side of the floor lamp). 

I got a whole lot done Sunday after the workers left.  Everything had dust on it and all decorative things had been removed.  I made a lot of progress and finished up Monday morning before I left for cards at noon.  I came in first place with a score of only 25 (you want to be low).  While I was gone, Ted changed our AC filters and used an RV cleaner on all our kitchen cabinets.  I could smell the orange scent as soon as I walked in.  Maybe he felt guilty about my being alone on our anniversary.  He also made a Perry’s reservation for Tuesday evening.  

Tuesday I did laundry and tied up some loose ends in the office.  We went to Perry’s early evening.  They had red rose petals on our table .  Ted had their signature pork chop and I had chicken.  We both brought enough home for another meal and we had ordered from the Senior Menu.

I missed my friend Nancy’s birthday last week so I invited her to lunch on Thursday.  We had a nice afternoon.  We stopped by her house where they are having the same floor removal we had just completed due to a leak during the Big Freeze.  I’m not sure why they are just now getting it done.  They had the same awful mess we had and I was glad my house had been cleaned Wednesday after all we had done before then.  They have a big job ahead!  

‘

Easter Week

I had a lot on my plate this week.  I was to get a haircut on Saturday but Cindy cancelled that morning and offered me one on Monday after her doctor appt.  I had cards at that time and it was very late to notify Michele I couldn’t be there so I refused that time slot.  I wrote and told her the times I could come and did not hear back so by Tuesday I made an appt. at a nearby salon.  I am very worried about Cindy but it is a half hour to get to her and when she cancels right when you are to leave home, it gets burdensome.  

So on Monday I played Canasta, ended up 3rd out of 8.  Always in the middle!  I was last at 3-13 this time when I played Tuesday.  Just didn’t get good cards to play with.  So by Wednesday I was ready to get our groceries and clothes ready to load up!  I could not remember what I had in the motorhome in regards to clothes and any special dishes I needed for cooking so I took what I knew I needed just to be safe.

We drove to the RV park, not very far from home and unhooked the Jeep at the front and went to get set up.  There was a Comcast work trailer parked where Ted needed to turn and the guy showing him in got off the cart to direct him.  I couldn’t see the front of the motorhome or how close he was to that work trailer but I could see the boulders they put at the edge of the grass to keep people from running over it.  Ted was ready to run right into them.  I laid on the horn and he stopped.  The guy came and moved one of the rocks and waved him on.  There was a second rock in the way and I blew the horn again.  The guy gave me a dirty look and I said “he trusts me more than you so move the damn rock.”  The trailer should not have been there in the first place!  And moving the rock was simple.  He left us to our own devices and Ted backed in with me directing him.  All was good!

John and Vivienne were not home so Ted got permission to wash the pollen off the motorhome while I put stuff away and made a tomato, cucumber, onion salad for dinner, brownies for dessert and I was going to bake potatoes.  John was cooking a tri tip roast. We ate outside and it got late so we all headed in.

Friday there was a party in the clubhouse.  They had eggs to color, flowers to make into small arrangements and food.  There was to be an egg hunt for the kids but it had rained so they rescheduled it but I don’t know to when.  

My deviled eggs.  They ate them all.

My dyed eggs and flower arrangement.  Perfect size for our dinette table.

Vivienne

It was misty and cool at dinnertime so we each ate inside.  John made bread so our grilled cheese was extra special.  Then we went to Cowboy Church.  They were very welcoming, had beautiful singing.  The pastor gave a nice talk and then the entire Passion was read.  Afterwards they had communion.  Vivienne went up but we other three did not.  

When we left for church my Jeep had a low pressure reading.  Ted used the compressor to air it up and we had no problem.  It was still ok in the morning but Ted said when Vivienne and I returned from the mall he would take it to Discount Tire.  She and I did a little damage at Chico’s while Ted and John went to Spring Ammo for a demo day.  They were able to shoot several pistols and had a good time.  While the guys took the car to get the tire fixed, Vivienne and I had cheese and crackers for a snack.  Turns out there was a small nail in the tire and they fixed it for free.  

Sunday we went to St. Anne Church and it was a wonderful Mass.  The people and the priest made us so welcome and the atmosphere was delightful.

We came home and I made ambrosia, sweet potatoes and a key lime pie.  John baked a ham and Vivienne made scalloped potatoes.  A terrific dinner by my estimation.  We sat out until it started drizzling a bit.  It was a full day.  

We were in the transient area and looked like a Newmar rally!  Ted was waxing ours and I took a photo of the other Ventana and Dutch Star.  

Good Health Feels Great

I was able to work Tuesday at Tomball Forum Friends.  We had about 120 seniors for bingo, entertainment and lunch.  This is my favorite event to work and the one I missed the most during the pandemic.  My table of six went 6 for 6 at bingo then won 3 more times and passed their winning sticks to others that had not won so everyone gets to choose a prize!  There were plenty of prizes, all supplied by our group.  Our organization also pays for the catered food and the entertainment if we have any.  Our own group, the Melodies, provided this month’s entertainment.

Wednesday evening we went next door to visit with our Israeli neighbors who had just returned from being gone several months.  Their house sitter Marena was there too and we had a great visit of several hours.

A trip to

in Seabrook TX was part of a bus trip down towards the gulf with the Newcomer ladies.

We stopped at Maas Nursery and many flowers and nursery items were purchased including two trees that stood in the back stairwell of the bus for the ride home.  I bought 18 two inch pots of various ajuga plants to try once more to get something to grow along the front wall.  

From there we continued on to the clubhouse for a delightful lunch in a room with a beautiful view.  

Saturday was the Masters, Mass, deliver Communion and eat at Red Lobster.  I told Ted I needed a different menu than he wants to cook all the time.  I chose flounder and coconut shrimp with a small salad and broccoli.  It tasted really good!

We are going to Magnolia to an RV park, where friends John and Vivienne live, to celebrate Easter with them.  We stopped by the motorhome to check on the leather repair on the ends of the recliner chairs we are replacing.  We want to sell them cheaply or give them away.  I used a brown leather repair kit and in two steps made it look better.  From there we drove to the park to check out our route, drove around the park to see our spot and how to get to it.  John and Vivienne were not home so we just came home to watch the end of The Masters, have dinner and watch TV.

This week will be busy with cards 3-13, Canasta, cleaning ladies, haircut, some prep cooking and packing.  We have a party at the park on Friday, cowboy church, Mass on Sunday, and Easter dinner.   

Another Week Toward Recovery

It is always in the back of my mind where I would be now in my “treatment” that first was thought necessary for my recovery.  I guess I presented backwards.  The worst cancer cells showed up in the biopsy and the rest got less and less bad.  The 1.3 mm size and finding it so early played a huge part in all of this.  I don’t have a lot on my calendar because I was planning maybe initially not feeling too good for 3 months.  What a relief to have avoided that.  

Monday we went to Healthy Women and spent 1.5 hours getting fitted.  The lady was so helpful and patient.  Medicare will pay for one prosthesis and 3 bras.  Then another prosthesis in 6 months but 3 more bras every 3 months.  At that rate I will need another dresser drawer!  There are two types of prosthesis,

one silicone and the other one, leisure.  It feels like a bean bag to me.  I bought the second prosthesis because I wanted one of each.  In 6 months I can choose a second one of the one I like best.  We stopped in Tomball for lunch where I had an awesome mahi mahi sandwich.

There is a shredding day happening in a few weeks here in our neighborhood so I spent time gathering oodles of things I can take.  I have a shredder but there is so much I am taking the easy way out.  

Friday we went to get our haircut.  Cindy seemed to be having difficulty and spent over an hour cutting Ted’s hair!  He doesn’t have that much.  I was up next and asked him if she was ok.  He said “no, I think she has had a stroke or her meds are out of whack.”  She has many health issues and is scheduled for a pet scan Monday.  I begged off saying I had developed a headache and would call for next week.  There were people there in the salon who had been with her all morning so we did not leave her alone.  I wish I had her daughter’s phone number to tell her of our concern.  Now I am not sure what to do!  

We have decided to go away over Easter weekend in the motorhome to give it a run like we did right before Christmas.  Tommy and Susan were supposed to go but Tommy put his motorhome on RV Trader and immediately got an interested buyer!  So we are going ahead with our plans.  If they don’t sell, they can join us.  If they do, they can come visit us because we are not going too far.  That’s traveling companions #2 who are giving up their RV.  None of us are getting any younger.  Our friend in Mission who has a house there and one in MN has been taking chemo and will have to remain down there through the summer.  They sold their motorhome  when they bought the house even though it has an attached porch to park.  Another friend there did the same with their 5th wheel.  Times, they are a changin’.  

Getting Dressed and Going Out

We had a terrific ride in the country on a beautiful Sunday drive.  We found the new park in Waller.  It is a carbon copy of one just built close to Tommy and Susan SE of us.  There wasn’t a lot around it but it was a beautiful park.  Next was a stop at Coushatte Park in Belleville that I poo-pooed years ago after a visit with a friend before making a reservation with Texas Boomers club.  That club went there frequently but we never did.  So Ted wanted to see for himself.  He took one look and said “no way in hell would I bring my motorhome here.”  Right again!  

We stopped at Goodson Cafe in Tomball for dinner.  It claims the best Chicken Fried Steak in Texas!  But we both had chicken.  It’s been a long time since we spent an afternoon like that.

I had lunch with a very dear friend, one of the first people I met when we moved to Texas.  It has been a long time since I had even seen her!  We tried a new restaurant and were both impressed.

I did some stuff around the house Tuesday while we had storms passing through.  Wednesday was nice so I took a walk and stopped at Nancy’s.

I got back in the saddle on Thursday and worked at the Thrift Store!  Everyone was so glad to see me but not half as glad as I was to be dressed in my uniform and working.  Susan was doing kids’ clothes and handed me two pair of brand new, with tags, Jordach jeans one 4T, the other 5T.  So I bought them for CeCe to grow into.  New clothes with tags are hard to pass up.  

Friday I went to Canopy Cancer Center and played mahjong.  There were 4 ladies playing and I offered to not play but they insisted they would take turns sitting out.  I played four games and then left to go to the nail salon.  They were very nice ladies and played about the speed I do and do not play for money.  Time will tell if I make it a habit of playing over there.

Saturday was beautiful.  I think with these warmer temperatures I should turn the sprinklers on.  My attempt to get shade garden perennials to grow under our live oaks last year is not panning out.  I think I will do a bit more research and try something else.  We went to church, took Communion to our friends and then went back out to eat.  We have found another couple who collect a pyx with hosts at the end of church and come right to a house 3 doors from Nancy.  We approached them about bringing Communion to our friends this summer.  

I had to return a blouse I bought last week because it had too small slits in the material in the back.  I noticed them when I took it out to wear.  I also needed to get a few things for dinner at H‑E‑B.  So I did a few things around the house and then did my two errands.  I came home and prepared a pork tenderloin, wild rice, cherry sauce and baked apples for dinner.  Ted was working a shoot at the gun club and I had no way of knowing when he would be home so I decided 6 pm sounded good and proceeded and it worked out well.  I am trying to do more and more of my “duties” and getting a routine established.  I have spent way too much time on the couch over the past 5 months!

Tomorrow is my appointment at the prosthesis store.  It is a 1.5 hour appointment and I need to take a few tops for a “fashion show” to determine what needs to be ordered for me.  I am looking forward to having custom things that won’t take me forever to “adjust” until it works right!  Wish me luck. 

 

Getting Back to Normal

It has been almost 5 months of stress, worry, tests, surgeries, etc.  Lucky for me, each one presented a better picture than that first devastating biopsy!  Who knew that tiny piece of aggressive, invasive, reoccurring cancer was the worst they would find.  All the prayers by so many certainly helped as news got better and better.  

I have to wait until 3/28 for my prosthesis appointment.  You need a prescription for them and the mastectomy bras to use with them.  In the meantime I have been making use of my Knitted Knockers from Canopy Cancer Center.  They are soft but lightweight and want to climb up!  So instead of just fussing with hair and make up, I have a third thing to add to my getting dressed repertoire!  With careful selection of clothing, you can go out in public with no one the wiser.  

On Monday I played Canasta and finished in the middle, as usual.  Tuesday I had an almost 3 hour lunch with a very good friend but a good bit of that time was due to a long wait for some very simple food!  But it gave us lots of time to occupy the table!  

Wednesday was Newcomers March meeting, lunch and Bingo!  I got down to one number on the final coverall for $150 … but it was not to be!  

I kicked back and relaxed on Thursday.  I have to remember I am still healing from two surgeries and fatigue is one side effect.  

Ted went shooting on Friday so I went to the post office to mail some Angel Mints to our friend in Mission undergoing chemo.  I have found them helpful for digestive purposes beyond nausea which I have not had but at times I just feel yucky.  But that has always been a digestive issue for me.  I hope if he has any issues, these help some.

I decided to use a TJ Maxx gift card I had to buy some new blouses and tops.  Some knits and sheer things may not be too easy to work with and I was told to bring a loose blouse and a fitted top to my appointment.  I bought a half dozen things and went back home.

Nancy stopped by for a visit and our new insurance agent is tying up the last of the insurance renewals.  She has been very helpful.  Travelers Insurance is fine but I want an agent to stay in touch with.  Agents from across the country were sending renewal policies, with info not updated, asking for a payment!  How about a phone call to discuss things?  It should be better with a local independent agent.  Maybe Travelers isn’t the best policy.  Now that we have the policies transferred, info updated and payments in place, Tara can check other companies to consider next year.  Kristin did a lot of groundwork in getting this ball rolling when she was here.

We will go to church this afternoon, take Communion to our neighbors and come home to eat.  We tried Whataburger fish sandwiches last night and I must say they are way better than McDonalds.  We are driving to Waller on Sunday to check out a new campground and will eat somewhere along the way.  So tonight, dinner is in!

It’s Good To Be Back

All I remember about Wednesday is that we had brakes put on my car which entailed running back and forth in both cars.  Ted told me he cannot drive two at one time.  I ran into my friend Teri at the grocery store and I had not a lick of make up on!  We chatted for awhile and got caught up.  I went home and used the leftover chicken and the carrots Kristin left along with onions and celery to make chicken vegetable noodle soup, two dinners in a row!  I am on a roll.

Thursday was our neighborhood birthday monthly luncheon!  However, there were only three of us available and none of us has a March birthday!  But what a great time.  It is more personal when there are just a few and everyone can take part in all the conversation.  Both of these ladies made soup to nuts dinners for us when I came home from the hospital so I picked up the tab.  It was the least I could do.  I didn’t plan it.  The waitress brought one check and I just took it and told her why when they objected. 

Our weekend was totally boring!  Other than Mass, delivering Communion and eating at Mia’s (not as good as I remember), nothing much was accomplished.  On Sunday Ted went shooting and I was gathering what I needed for the Easter Project.  I have all but 4 things for the bag of groceries and Similac, kids’ underwear and slide closing quart and gallon bags for other ministries all coming from Amazon.

I did work off and on with the route we are going to take this summer.  We need to pick up our new recliners being made by the Amish in Shipshewana, IN, then on to the park by the kids for a month.  We will attend Morgan’s commencement ceremony and two weeks later her celebration party.  She is so happy after the past 5 months’ events.  We will go to Eagle’s Nest near Columbus for Ted to shoot with my brother Dan before heading to Cincinnati for two weeks.  We then will start heading south with Gulf Shores, AL in mind but we will see how that goes.  Our aim is to be home early August so at the end of the month we can fly to Florida.  All the kids are going to Disney so we are going to head that way.  Other than taking CeCe to Magic Kingdom while most of the rest take adult days at the other parks, we will do our own thing and meet up here and there. We have friends to visit so a week will pass quickly.

I have relatives coming in October to visit when they finish a cruise in Galveston.  They come on a Thursday and Ted will be in San Antonio at National Sporting Clay championships so they will hopefully stay beyond Sunday to see him … and play Mexican Train.  

That’s all the news fit to print.  Next week is a bit busier so don’t forget to come back and check in. Oh, and my Arimidex is not bothering me at all!  

We 

Out and About

My Arimidex pill did not bother me on Friday and I don’t remember what else I did that day.  We had tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner.  Not too interesting, huh?  Saturday was our usual, church (I attended) and Ted took Communion to our neighbors afterwards. Then we headed back out to our Mexican restaurant we have neglected over the past several months.  I even had a margarita!  

Sunday I didn’t feel real good but I can’t say it was my pill.  I took one of my Angel Mints that Judy had brought me (she has had cancer twice and swears by these), and I felt better almost immediately.  I got up and dressed to accompany Ted to the Flying J to meet Don and Trudy as they passed on their way home from the valley.  Ted had some gun components he bought to share with Don.  They were both so glad to see us and Trudy said Don was in mourning all season without Ted.  He declared “if Ted can’t come next year, I’m not either.”  We both have our spots reserved!  We made it home in time for Ted to go shooting and I stayed behind and baked ribs.

I had some errands on Monday.  Ted left for his prayer group with his gun club and I went to our church office about not receiving a tax statement.  I went on line as directed and all that showed up was $70 for two $35 boxes of food at Thanksgiving.  Nate was in, said he had been looking at two accounts, one for Ted, one for me and would bring out the proper papers.  Except I forgot to ask which one was right now!   Mass was live-streaming into the office so I went over to the church to go to Communion and stayed until the end.

Ted still was not home so I went to the Clock Shop with our mantel clock that stopped chiming.  He said a spring was broken and it would be several hundred dollars to repair.  It keeps time so I said no thanks but I did need a repairman for my Cuckoo Clock.  The suspension spring broke and it has not been serviced in years!  I will spend several hundred to fix it.  They are coming Wednesday to take it to the shop.  We purchased the mantel clock in Germany in 1991 and the Grandfather Clock in 1973!  Some things are worth keeping.

Finally… on Tuesday I went to play cards at one of the restaurant groups!  I came in second!  WooHoo!  We had lunch there and when I got home I put a whole chicken in to bake.  It was the first dinner I have made all on my own in 6 weeks.

And the Verdict Is In

We met yesterday with the Medical Oncologist!  To say I was stressed is putting it mildly.  But I dressed nicely, put on my make up, fixed my hair and we took off.  One blessing has been the 2 mile away location of MD Anderson.  Both surgeries were downtown but everything else has been at this newest facility.  

First up was the nurse who took my vitals, then the PA who said they were going to discuss chemo and treatment and I should listen to the pathology report.  I told her I read the pathology report and the Tumor Board recommendation was Endocrine Therapy, not chemo, and I had no intention of taking it without an explanation to trump that recommendation.  The Zoom Oncologist (Kara’s employee benefit) from Tennessee had agreed with the Tumor Board.  That made three against and I wondered what the doctor’s reason would be to be for chemo.

The doctor came in and right off the bat said she wanted to discuss Arimidex, the pill she was recommending.  I did not need chemo and Herceptin without chemo had no benefit. Either she looked again at my file or the PA looked at my first visit, the only time I had been there, with the original pathology and the possible recommendation for treatment after surgery.  Either way, I was tremendously relieved we all were on the same page and I was not bucking the establishment.  

She discussed that the very scary pathology was limited to that 1.3 mm tumor and it was excised by the biopsy.  The rest of the 5 cm lump removed was DCIS, ductal carcinoma in situ, which is cancer cells in a milk duct.  The jury is still out medically on whether if it has remained enclosed in the tube if it is “cancer” or pre-cancer.  A margin was left behind in the lumpectomy but with the mastectomy all of that precancerous stuff was removed.  Since 4 lymph nodes were removed during the lumpectomy and 2 were found in the mastectomy and were all clear, and there was no cancer at all in the balance of that breast.  the chance that any cells had escaped were CLOSE to zero, a number they will not use.  It all sounded good to me.

We talked about exercise, eating, bone density loss from the pill, next mammogram and a follow up appointment, etc.  While doing this she was setting up a blood draw for Vitamin D and a bone scan to determine the amount of calcium I should take and did I need to take Prolia.  We left and went upstairs for the blood draw and then downstairs for the bone scan.  It is so convenient with everything in one building. After that, we went to Denny’s for a late breakfast.

My Vitamin D test showed me mid range on the Sufficient scale.  Not too little, not too much. She recommended I double the amount of Vitamin D I had been taking in case the pill affected that.  My bone density showed my spine as being fine.  They could not do my hips because they have both been replaced.  So they did my forearm and it showed osteoporosis!  I had to decide (I hate all these decisions!) but grateful for the info available to me from MDA.  Did I want to take Prolia or double my calcium and check next year. I chose to try just the doubled calcium while I settle in with this new pill that is so important.  

I took the first pill this morning and so far nothing has happened.  They all have side effects and it is up to me to recognize them, do what I can to live with them, and yell ‘uncle” if I can’t.  There are other pills to try if need be.  

I received so many messages and prayers on FB, 133 at last count.  Also there were meals brought, flower arrangements sent and gift cards to restaurants that were put to good use by the girls while they juggled their lives, jobs, nursing duties and cooking.  The greeting cards came in everyday until I had to make a stack because I ran out of display area.  

Thank you all for all these wonderful gestures.  They lifted my spirits and certainly got results that only God has control over.  May he bless you all!

And the Waiting Continues

I call it waiting, they call it healing.  Actually it is both.  I felt much better after the last drain was removed and that area is healing now.  I still have swelling and a hard "lump" at the end of my incision that they are watching.  We have to send a photo of it in two weeks to compare to the first one taken.  Hematoma was mentioned but I don’t think that would be hard.  Cording is something they are watching for and I have been doing stretching exercises 3 times a day.  Always something!

We have done a lot of just sitting around worrying about dinner!  It is always the big question of the day.  I declared tonight to be "fend for yourself" wherein anything in the refrigerator is up for grabs.  Fill your plate, microwave it and you will be filled and the refrigerator emptied!  I used this periodically when working with a family of 5!  

We did go to dinner this past week at the outdoor patio Mexican restaurant. Kara and Bill went there and Kristin thought it a good idea to spend Margarita World Day sipping one of theirs.  This created more leftovers!  

Kristin and I went to the nail salon Wednesday and this morning we had a Zoom second opinion meeting with an oncologist available to Kara through an employ benefit from her company.  We had the mastectomy pathology with the recommendation, BMO - endocrine therapy.  We asked what BMO meant since we found a dozen acronyms using these letters.  He said this is the Tumor Board’s recommendation to the Breast Medical Oncologist - prescribe the Arimidex (or similar) and nothing more!!!  He said he agrees with this with the suggestion I get a bone density test and then have Boneva or something similar to protect my bones.  

We were stunned but he said I should never get chemo from anyone for a 1.3 mm tumor following a mastectomy with no lymph node involvement.  We have decided we will go next Thursday to see what she is recommending now that all the pathology is in, my blood clot/Eliquis situation is specifically brought to her attention and see if she has changed her mind.  If so, without documentation to back up her recommendation, we will seek a third opinion.  

Friday evening we went to Olive Garden to use a gift card from my sister Laurie.  It was Kristin’s last evening so it was fitting to use the last gift card.  They also have the $5 Take Home Meal so we bought three for the freezer.    She got off late morning in Saturday and will stop as close to Florida as she can get today.  She went north to 105 to take that to Beaumont and not deal with I-10 out of Houston.  She came in that way too when I-10 was closed in Beaumont and liked the quiet country route.  She arrived home safely on Sunday afternoon.  It was the first we have been alone in over a month.  

Mastectomy Pathology

Post Op Visit.

When my margins came back bad on my lumpectomy I had to choose chancing a second lumpectomy or opt for a mastectomy. There is so much info to go through and you need knowledgeable people to help you understand.

A second lumpectomy could still leave margins necessitating a third surgery. Also, the plastic surgeon said there would not be enough tissue to redo the reconstruction like the first time so my breasts would not be the same size and he knew I was not onboard for messing with my healthy left breast.

Mastectomy would definitely remove any and all cancer. The downside could be regret if there wasn’t anything more there than the small bit at the superior margin that would be removed.

I opted for mastectomy to avoid a possible third surgery and the peace of mind knowing it was all removed.

The outcome is only the small superior margin remained and there was no cancer anywhere else in the breast including two wayward lymph nodes that never made their way to my clavicle area as I developed.  

So … the lumpectomy would have been enough. I would be mismatched and have no definitive (to me) guarantee that there was nothing lingering. But to know there was no other cancer and those two wayward lymph nodes had no cancer was great.

I have a 3/3 appointment with the oncologist to plan for the medical part of beating cancer.  She outlined the protocol then and I guess I will learn if anything has changed in light of all that we have learned.  That 1.3 mm tumor (size of a grain of rice) was the very worst indicator of my type of cancer.  It was actually aspirated in the original biopsy and everything else has been much less toxic.  But whatever she says I need to do, I will do!

The Aftermath

Monday Kara and I went to Canopy, a cancer patient community for all sorts of things. I wanted to ask about when I could be fitted for a prosthesis. What an amazing place! I need to wait 6-8 weeks for a fitting but in the meantime they gave me a lovely bag to hold a shirt with inside pockets for drains to wear home from the hospital, a heart shaped pillow to hold against my incision for comfort, socks, lip balm, knitted knockers! These are hand knitted breast forms soft enough to wear until you get your custom prosthesis. My surgery was scheduled for 3 pm Tuesday with an arrival time of 1 pm. We left in time to check into a hotel suite so Kara could get set up to work while Ted went with me to the hospital. We got checked in and then were told there was an hour and a half delay. Turns out they slipped someone in front of us and we lost are operating room. It was 6 pm before my surgery got started. I don’t recall too much after that. But at 6:30 am Wednesday morning the PA came in and checked me out and proclaimed me fit for discharge! I had them call the hotel and Ted ran Kara over to help me dress and get discharge instructions while he packed up the things at the hotel. True to form it took until 10:30 to get everything in place to leave. We called Ted who drove right over and they were wheeling me out just as he pulled up. I was glad to be home, drains, incision and all.

Another Surgery

We were all counting on good pathology because I had a mammogram, 2 magnified mammograms, an ultrasound, a clip placement, a "scout" to travel to the clip and a soft mammogram to determine the area to be excised.  And in the end, the margins were not clean.  The lymph nodes (4) were all good and that is the very best news.

So back to decisions and odds.  Another lumpectomy would be 90% certain, a mastectomy would be 100% effective (though they will tell you breast cells can remain much like ovary and prostate cancer cells).  I did not want to roll the dice and set myself up for a possible third surgery or the mental weight of "did they really get it all?" so I chose the mastectomy.  Surgery will be 2/8.

In the meantime Kara has been running the ship here at home.  We have been eating well and not doing much of anything but run to doctors.  I visited the dermatologist because two different nurses saw something on my back and said it should be looked at.  Dr. K said I have lots of "stuff" but none of it is in need of coming off except for appearance.  Good!  Then we saw the cardiologist for an EKG, prescription of Lovinox to allow me to forego my Eliquis before surgery and discuss the medicines I will receive during my treatment and their potential to cause heart issues.  She agrees the benefits of Herceptin far outweigh the risks so that is good to know.

We also went to Pappasitos as a guest of my niece who called the restaurant and told them she wanted to host our dinner and gave them her credit card number.  What a tremendous, uplifting thing.  Right now a good margarita helped!

Bill turned 60 on Saturday so the restaurant gifted him a plate of sopapillas for dessert.

And two of our grandchildren sent us strawberries.

Saturday we got haircuts and then Ted went to church and brought Communion home.  Kara’s friends sent money for us to order out for dinner so he and Bill went to Russo’s and brought our dinner home.  After, we played Mexican Train with Bill being victorious.

Nothing to Report

I have not had any issues nor anything to report this past week.  Kara has done a great job of milking my drain, measuring results, taking my temperature, monitoring my meds, cooking, doing laundry and keeping up with her job remotely.  I don’t know how anyone alone would be able to do this for themselves.  I guess rehab hospitals come into play at that point.  Living close to your children is a really serious choice as you age.  We are fortunate that we can fly them here and their jobs are such that they can be gone or do it remotely.

I have not been in pain, more discomfort, and mostly from the drain.  It is a PIA!  It just gets in the way!  I have a robe with pockets inside to hold the bulb but sitting and sleeping on it can be disruptive every time you move!

We are getting offers from friends to bring food which is most welcome, especially by Kara.  My niece in Cincinnati even sent her cc number and told me to have meals delivered all week!  Such a nice offer but one meal at her expense will be enough.  Yesterday Kara’s friend brought brisket, potatoes and salad she had made.  It was better than any BBQ restaurant!  It warms my heart to have people be so thoughtful.

My drain output is below 30 ml two days in a row so hopefully tomorrow we can go to MDA to have the drain removed.  That will make me feel much better!

I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon this week and the oncology surgeon the next.  No word on the med oncologist who will give me the lowdown on how we proceed.  She said her outlined protocol would not change so I think I know where this is headed.  Chemo, radiation, Herceptin, Arimidex.  Five years!!  Breast cancers are not alike.  Each one has specifics to consider.  Unfortunately I don’t have the surgery + radiation + Arimidex and done.  It is some comfort to know there were no positives in my gene testing though my mother died of breast cancer but I was a fool and didn’t learn more about hers.  I do know when it returned they gave her chemo, radiation and Herceptin but the horse was already out of the barn but this was a 1996 diagnosis, 2000 death.  Much has been learned in those 25 years.  Dr. Oke said their 9 year study of my outlined protocol has a 96% success rate.  I am standing before God with those odds!  

I cannot go to church so Ted went to ours and made arrangements for him to bring a consecrated host home to me and Kara.  We watched Mass on line and saw him walk to the altar to receive the pyx the host is in.  He came home, said the prayers which we answered appropriately, and gave us Communion.  It is the best I can do for now.  

Surgery Is Over

We kept close to home to insure I would not have a positive Covid test and delay my surgery.  It is getting really boring not going anywhere or having company.  Kara arrived on Sunday to help and we were so happy to see her.  We didn’t do anything specific on Monday and she fixed dinner for us.  We left at 6:15 am to go downtown to M D Anderson in the Texas Medical Center on Tuesday.  We valet parked, checked in at Pre-Op and waited.  It was about 9:15 when I was taken back to Admission and before we finished Ted was brought to join me as I was taken to prepare for surgery.  It is a maze of areas and rooms and very easy to get lost!  At last I kissed Ted goodbye and was taken to one of 38 operating rooms.  

I was scheduled for a lumpectomy followed by a plastic surgeon putting me back together.  It was not too terribly long for the lumpectomy.  The aesthetic repair took longer.  I had no bleeding problems having stopped Eliquis on Sunday and Monday.  I used what they call a Lovonox bridge to protect me from clots until after my surgery.

The doctor removed the 1.3 mm invasive cancer and the surrounding 2.4 x 3.4 cm clump of pre cancerous calcifications. Then 4 lymph nodes were removed and on visual inspection appeared to have no cancer.  All good news.  Now we wait for the pathology to confirm these findings.

The oncologist had outlined a treatment plan of chemo, radiation, Herceptin and Arimidex. With the only cancer found being that grain of rice sized cancer I wonder if this will change.  It is an aggressive cancer and is known to reoccur so I think that protocol may still be on the table.  

We were home a little after 6:00 and Kara had dinner ready again.  I chose to sleep on the couch where I could sleep on my left side with my back braced against the back of the couch.  I had to get up to go to the bathroom 3 times through the night because of all the fluids given to me through my IV.  They had given me a shot of blue dye to map the nodes that drained the breast so I was very fancy with the beautiful blue water in the toilet bowl!  

Wednesday we had a visit from Irene who came bearing flowers!  Such a nice thing to do.  We had a good visit for about an hour.  Kara fixed us dinner again, she won’t allow me to do anything!  She has been monitoring my drains, my temp, my medicine, etc. as well as doing the cooking and working from here for her job!  She is one of a kind!

Tomorrow I can shower!  It will be my first look at my incisions and the aesthetics of the repair.  I could have more done but with my use of blood thinners, extensive repair was dangerous for no reason other than aesthetics.  He did say if the finished look was not acceptable to me there were things he could do.  So we’ll see.  

I will see the surgeon and plastic surgeon next week.  I have no appointment with the oncologist yet.  It will make it possible for us to plan for next summer when we know the schedule.  I am hoping I can find a cancer center in MI and OH so I can get a Herceptin infusion.  Otherwise I will have to fly back and forth every three weeks.  

A Week at Home

Wednesday morning I went with Ted to the skeet club to drop him off.  We passed Mimi walking to the mailbox and she indicated I should come by for a visit while Ted was shooting.  I did just that and we had a great visit.  Ted texted me later to come get him and we drove to Golden Chick for a late lunch/early dinner.  Later we went to Bentsen Grove to see a comedy music show.  It was fun and a nice finish to our short stint in the Rio Grande Valley.  We miss seeing the shows.

Thursday morning, we had breakfast at the hotel and left just about 9:00.  We were home by 3:00.  We only had one suitcase so unpacking was easy.  I took the two lasagnas we bought for $5 each at Maggiano’s out of the freezer and had them for dinner.  

I met my friend Irene at the wig salon Friday and we spent 1.5 hours trying on all kinds of wigs until we agreed upon the most naturally looking one for me.  Of course my hair is so thin that I actually look better in it.  I also bought a turban for quick trips to the store or if someone stops by.  We went to lunch at Le Madeleine before going our separate ways.

In the evening we attended a Healing Mass and Blessing of the Sick.  It wasn’t at our church but the other Catholic parish in our township.  It took two hours because each person is blessed with holy chrism and prayed over.  I felt I really needed to attend.  You can’t ask for prayers from others if you fail to avail yourself of what is specifically planned for ill people.  

Saturday was business as usual.  I did laundry and we attended our normal 5 pm Mass.  We went to Willie’s to eat and stopped at Walmart for a few things since we were right there.  Sunday we did nothing special at all.  Ted made Skyline chili for dinner.  As long as I don’t have to make it, I will gladly eat what is put in front of me. 

We pretty much sat Monday and Tuesday out waiting for 3 days of appointments the rest of the week.  Wednesday we met with both surgeons and decided on a lumpectomy to remove the cancer and nothing more because of my previous DVT, PE and continued use of Eliquis. It is just too risky for cosmetic purposes.  The incision will remove an approximate 1 inch square that will be corrected by the plastic surgeon  Lord knows he has enough to work with.

Thursday was our first trip to MDA downtown.  It took an hour and 20 minutes in early morning traffic and only 45 minutes to come home.  I am not sure this couldn’t have been done out here but I guess they have their reasons.  I had a PA go over all my answers on everything they have given me to fill out.  I took every bottle of pills I take, as I was directed - calcium, vitamin D, coQ10, Eliquis, simvistatin and Tylenol PM.  I had contacted my cardiologist who sent a 9 month old EKG and a clearance letter.  I whipped out her card when he asked about her phone number to request my recent tests in September.  I was prepared!  He ordered an EKG because they want one less than 6 months old.  So we went to the lab, signed in electronically and within 10 minutes I was in and out and we headed home.  

Today I have an appt for placement of my “scout.”  It is a tiny GPS to direct the doctor to the exact spot and it too will then be removed.  That will be followed by a mammogram.  

The only thing left is a Covid test next Friday and surgery should be a go!  My prayer now is no cancer in the sentinel node(s) that will be removed.  I have a post op appointment they already made for 2/6 and I suppose chemo will start shortly thereafter.  That’s the part I really dread. Keep the thoughts and prayers coming. They are so appreciated.  

Home for New Years and Hitting the Road Again

We had a 7 am flight Thursday morning so we opted to stay at the Hilton at the airport the night before.  Bill, Kara, Ted and I all drove to Sandy’s on Beech in Redford to pick up dinner and went to visit Bill’s cousin who we know well.  We had a great visit before being dropped off at the hotel. We set a 4:30 alarm and turned in early.  Our trip home was every bit as easy and pleasant as our flight up.  We were home by 10:30 having landed at the airport 40 minutes early.

We didn’t do much over the weekend. I fell asleep New Year’s Eve and woke up at 12:10 am.  I missed the ball drop and saying goodbye to 2021.  I don’t think 2022 is going to be a heck of a lot better, especially for me.  I am calling it the Trifecta of lousy years!  

We went to Mass Saturday night.  I had a pot roast in the crockpot and we stopped at Kroger to get noodles and there weren’t any except one bag of some kind of special noodles that cooked in 3 minutes and cost $6.  This shortage of things is getting scary!  

We left at 7:30 am for Mission on Sunday morning and our trip was smooth except for tremendous wind gusts.  The Expedition got buffeted around pretty good.  We decided to stay on 77 out of Victoria all the way to Harlingen to go right to Mexico to buy the medicines we needed.  We then drove to our Hilton hotel, arriving at 1:30.  Terrific time!  

Our next door neighbors on Lark had invited us for dinner so after settling in and resting a bit we went to their coach house.  Ted also went next door to get access to the coach house where our stuff was for something he needed.  He met the guy who has sublet from us.  We had a very pleasant evening and it was quite late when we left.

Monday we returned to Mexico to get the balance of the Volfenac arthritis cream that many had asked us to get for them.  We didn’t want to buy it all at once.  It is not a prescription anymore in the US but the strength is more and price is less.  We didn’t want them to think we were reselling it for profit.  I bought CeCe a pair of PJs and some training pants so we both had something else to say we bought.  Ted told them he had PJ’s and arthritis cream, They just waved him through.  He didn’t even ask me!

We told Jay and Stella, old Texas Boomer friends, we wanted to visit but would come after lunch and leave before dinner.  They are both using canes now because of infirmaries in her knees and his back.  This getting old business is seriously bad for your health!    

From there we went to Trudy and Don’s motorhome to meet up for dinner.  We went to the Republic of Texas restaurant for dinner and then returned to our hotel.

Niles and Sue asked us to meet them at Diaz Diner for breakfast before his doctor’s appointment on Tuesday.  He is dealing with cancer also and we wanted to be sure to see them and agreed.   We spent about an hour and a half with them and then left for the Mission Skeet Club where Ted was meeting Dave and others to shoot, and Karen and I were going shopping.  We had intended to go to Butterfly Boutique, a cancer prosthetics store to look at headgear and wigs. When  I looked up the opening time it said Permanently Closed.  So we just went to the mall.  I bought a 3T jacket for CeCe for next year at Dillard’s then we met Ted and Dave at Cheddar’s for lunch.  I had a kids grilled cheese.  Too much eating out! 

Our afternoon was to visit Steve and Marisa who sold their spot, trailer and truck only to return, buying a one bedroom casita with room for their Class B motorhome and new truck.  It is very nice.  Ted said he wanted to stop to say hello to Norm and Emily so we dropped in unannounced.  They were eating and insisted we come in and visit because they could nuke it later.  When we were leaving, Sue came by walking Sammy so we got to talk to her some more.  Niles still did not get a 12/13 pathology report and she was pretty upset.  

We came home after that to put our feet up.  We have covered a lot of ground in a little bit of time. 

I decided to show a visual of the size of my cancer, 1.3 mm.  That is a spot from the red line to less than half way between the first two green lines.  No wonder no one can feel it!  It made me feel better about my situation.